Star Jones recently told usmagazine.com that Barbara Walters was an “adulterer” because she slept with a married man many, many years ago. What I think? At a time when her own marriage is going down the toilet (he is alleged to be more interested in other men), and she can’t eat due to gastric bypass surgery, Star Jones has directed her ravenous choppers toward the one person who was publicizing her sexual trists - Barbara Walters. When she’s getting more action than you, it only highlights that all the “portion control” and “pilates” (things she initially told her audience - lied about - caused her weight loss) in the world can’t always get you laid.

Before and After weight loss: 

 
 
 Don’t let the smiles fool you folks. She is mean, she is not getting laid, and she is hungry. 

Mama always told me never to date a woman who has a matted hair, a bald spot, and foil stuck to her face…
 
Turns out, she was right. Happy belated Mother’s Day. 

Is it a deer caught in your headlights? No, it’s just Ann Coulter. I used to think I was scared of clowns, but after seeing her in about 17 versions of the “little black dress,” my nightmares have taken a whole new direction.

 Look Ann, I know that you yearn to be the hottest thing since Nixon…but turns out, I’d much rather see him in that black minidress than you - yes, even if pulled from the grave, propped up, and stuffed into it. Come to think of it, Nixon doesn’t look so bad with a little makeup…without my glasses…and I AM feeling a little lonely tonight….   

Coulter vs. Nixon? I decide to go with Nixon - he doesn’t talk,  let’s me have my way with him, and the ash stains on your genitals are just part of the deal.

It’s like sex on the beach…a little gritty, but worth it.