I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that given my genetics, when I’m 70, I’m going to look like a cross between a Shar Pei, and a grasshopper….but I still hope to get my share of action. Heck, my grandma still dates, and she’s 83 (go grandma!). What she does on those dates, I don’t know. In my mind, she just has dinner, goes straight home, alone, and watches television. 

It’s a topic that no one likes to think about, but MSNBC.com is reporting that people have to start thinking more about older people and sex…nursing home sex particularly. In nursing homes, very few people have a lot of privacy…and you know, a girl has needs…even “solo” needs. Often the doors aren’t allowed to be locked, and people are in positions that don’t allow intimacy to happen (like someone has a leg propped up in a weird way, etc..). Also, the staff doesn’t seem so keen on it either - my guess is that this applies especially if you are a same-sex couple.

It made me think that when I go into a home (and I’m sure someone will put me in one if they’re wise), that at least my gf will come and visit me periodically with some better food, and nookie. So babe, if you’re reading this…you’ve got some planning to do….and this is what you have to look forward to:

Sure, we can all go out and show our support at rallys and such but this, my friends, is dedication. Here is a recent quote from Courtney on the Defamer:

“ i voted AGAINST proposition 8. i want there to be gay marriage rights passionately.
clear?

shall i dress up a giant butt plug and march ? cos if i have time i dammed well will.”

Though I have mixed feelings about this one, I believe it has come time for the gay movement to showcase it’s most frightening weapon. If they don’t back down, opponents should be well aware that we may release “the courtney as butt plug.”

Is that what they really want?

1998, when Justin Timberlake looked like a lesbian with really bad style…

Get out your Crayons folks!

Lindsay is a lot of things…but politically correct, she is not. The Defamer reported that she was proud to see “our nation’s first colored President” become elected.

I don’t think I’ve heard the word “colored” used to describe someone of mixed ethnic background or African heritage since reading history books in 6th grade. My Grandma may or may not also use that word, no matter how many times I correct her.

While I like the fact that Lindsay encouraged voters, and that she’s likely banging a chick, I think her true talents remain in half-naked photographs…though I could settle for a sequel to “Mean Girls” - I really liked that movie and I’m not apologizing for it.

Recently, Mickey Rourke was confronted by TMZ.com, where he proceeded to say that he would harm the “F$%^&t” who was responsible for spreading some rumors about him.

As you can see by these mug shots, Mickey is not just eloquent in his speech, he’s also quite a catch:

I used to like Heather Mills, I’ll admit. She seemed kind of cool. Despite all odds in not having a limb, she was still a Model, and ended up married to a legend (Paul McCartney). Well, turns out, she seems to be pretty difficult, demanding, and pretty full of herself. She was fired from the Celebrity Apprentice before it even began because she wanted a spot in the final guaranteed in her contract, reported News.com.au.

I feel badly bashing on a woman with one leg, but there it is. Sometimes you have to call it as you see it. I just want to say that this does not represent my views on all disabled people. So, if you’re a chick with one leg, hot, and sane…you’ve definitely still got a shot with me. Especially if you put out on the first date.

Here’s a recent ad for AshleyMadison.com, the infamous dating site for married folks. Tmz.com reports that they are attempting to get this ad to run during the Superbowl…..

While I’m all for oiled up chicks straddling anything…the truth of it is, I’m a big sucker totally into the chick I’m with. So…what do you think about a “married” woman/men’s dating site?

Sure, most bloggers are happy about the election…but you know, I’m not. To not comment on Proposition 8 seems negligent as a lesbian blogger….So, I’ll say my peace and move along. I’m a realist.

I understand that most people would far rather pay $5 for a download of me and my gf having sex than to actually support us making a commitment, that ministers browse my site but vote against me, and that millions of middle-american housewives are content to dance with Ellen…but not allow her to have a personal life of her choosing.

I had this moment watching the Democratic Vice-Presidential debates where I sat with my girlfriend and we watched as both Joe Biden and Sarah Palin agreed that gays shouldn’t marry, but should have rights. It was a real “suck” moment - it seemed to take the oppression of those gays to bring the parties together. I wanted to vomit when they both shared an awkward chuckle at my expense. 

This election, on the surface we seem to have made great strides. We have a President-Elect of mixed ethnic background who won both the popular and electoral votes. He says a lot of great things…but the one thing he says that seemed to cost us was that, while he supports having equal rights for gay and lesbian people, he believes marriage is between a man and a woman. Although I understand why gay people support him (after all he does advocate some rights), I did wonder why they did with such enthusiasm. 

Think about it. While Obama won by a landslide in California, many of the same people who voted for his change and his unifying message also voted for Proposition 8, which actively will take away the right of gay and lesbian people to marry. They didn’t get the message…or maybe, in part, they did. We’re still not equal.

I don’t blame Obama for this…but I don’t think he’s the next Messiah either. That right is reserved for Gisele, my girlfriend in french lingerie, and maybe Angelina pre-Brad.  

Excuse me for saying so, but I’m kind of sick of settling for “some” recognition, or “some” rights. Truth is, there wasn’t one candidate of the two that actually advocated for us as equals. 

Maybe it’s too much to ask. Too much to be seen as a committed couple the same as anyone else, too much to be seen as having a family worthy of having the same name of “marriage” under the federal and state governments, or too much to just be able to call my spouse “my wife.” Is it really that bad? 

As I watched the faces of those who cheered when Obama won…and then watched the faces of those who cheered as Proposition 8 was passed, I wondered….what is happening here?