I may be going away for a while…to Argentina. According to Mercopress.com, Valeria Mazza is under investigation by the Argentine Government for possibly shafting them for about $2 million in unpaid taxes.

Should she be found guilty, I have a personal aircraft on standby, and lots of crimes to commit to join her in our sweet South American lovenest. Mommy’s coming…

It’s finally over. The hype was exhausting, and the endless commentary, debates, commercials and opinions just wear you down. So, let’s cut the crap. 

What do you really want today? Another speech?  No way. What I want is for Prop 8 to have failed. But as of writing this, it doesn’t look that way. So, I’m going with something that might serve as a temporary distraction until we know. 

Here is something that America can really unite behind after the battle of the election - long legs, sex hair, and stilettos. Going back to work doesn’t seem so bad now, does it?

Here’s a photo from brought to you by the superficial.com of Gisele’s latest work for American Photo’s 30th Anniversary Edition, shot by Nino Munoz. I’d like to say I took it while strolling into work this morning, but I cannot tell a lie….she was just sitting there in my study looking so darn photo-able, and I thought everyone should enjoy it.  

Hollywood insider reports that one of my favorite cougars, Courteney Cox, is coming back to primetime TV to star in a comedy called “Cougar Town,” that will be about a single 40-year-old mom. The rest of the plot is yet to be determined…but let me tell you how I envision this.

Single 40-year-old Courteney Cox meets up with hot young lesbian blogger, ditches her husband, and finds life with the blogger to be a “slice of heaven” (her words, not mine), “the best sex I ever had,” and a “rediscovery of self.” Courteney is forever grateful to the blogger for her later coming out experience, and they live happily ever after on the beach where Courteney wears nothing but bikinis.

I hate getting pulled over by the cops. It’s never good. It interrupts any sexual action I was getting while driving, and generally is a real killjoy. Anyway, it looks like I’m not the only one who gets her share of tickets.

Tmz.com reports that Ashley Van Dyke was arrested in California when she didn’t want to cooperate with the traffic police. What did she try to do? Like every Hollywood celebrity, she attempted to use some lame excuse to get out of it by saying she was “a race car driver.” Okay, she really IS a race car driver…but still….she was arrested under suspicion for DUI.

When will these ladies learn that getting out of a ticket is as simple as unbuttoning a few extra buttons? I’m not saying all police chicks are lesbians…but if I were a cop, I’d certainly give this chick the “cuffs” and forget about that whole silly ticket thing.

Are all chicks that drive race cars hot?

I’m buying Nike everything.

This is ridiculous. Superman never wore a skirt. Is this some kind of weird “supergirl” costume?

Thanks Star.com for totally ruining my fantasy.

If Jada Pinkett Smith wanted to do something really cool for Halloween, she should have stripped down and looked trampy like all the other Hollywood moms, gotten drunk, left the daughter at home, and shown me what it really means to be “naughty”.

Reminiscing on the wonderful spirit of children, I couldn’t help but notice Ok! Magazine’s feature of a pic of a newly parental Britney Spears and her child Jayden in October. So innocent.

Clearly, Jayden has no idea that he is playing with the wrong pumpkins.

It seems Kim Kardashian celebrated her 28th year at LAX Nightclub in Luxor Hotel and Casino, according to MonstersandCritics.com. While I am still not sure what she’s ever done in her life, I do know why she is famous…

Anyone else sense an epic birthday spanking coming on?