Amy Winehouse collapsed suddenly about 4 days ago, and physicians are supposedly still doing more “tests” to see what is going on and if she can be released from the hospital. Now, I’m no medical professional, but my gut tells me that cocaine (and possibly her eating disorder) has something suspicious to do with all of this. 

 I know, I know…just call me Dr. Amazing.

 

While she’s there, Dr. Amazing also recommends a few teeth.   

Imagine…you hook up with Kim Kardashian. You begin to undress her and then…you discover, she’s wearing “depends.” :

 

I honestly don’t know what’s happening down there, but I don’t really want to find out. 

 I used to like Nicole Richie. She’s hot but insecure, has a “past” (aka likely good in bed) and you know that she’d be grateful for any little thing you did…but now, she just seems like a nightmare. Currently, msnbc.com reports that Nicole has been having crying episodes and feels that she is in “a constant state of emotional turmoil”  because of all the stress in her life. Can you imagine living with this girl?

 

 Hmm…if you didn’t pop pills and drive (there’d be no pending community service), got your eating and drug issues under control before pregnancy, used protection (thus, no baby),  dated for a bit before being a mother, maybe things would be easier. I don’t know…that’s just me being “old fashioned.”  

Madonna is known for being an aggressive woman in the boardroom and in the bedroom.

 

She’d either beat the crap out of me, or give me the best night of my life.  

Either way, I’d cry. 

Whether ugly (like Ashlee Simpson), attractive (Jessica Alba),  or just a creepy middle ground (Nicole Richie) it seems to be the new trend to have unprotected sex, get pregnant, and try to rush to the alter as soon as possible.  But my concern is far more important.

 

 A medal (or citation) should be given to Pete Wentz, who actually “went there” with this horrific creature of the deep. Why do we have our knickers in a knot about all this California same-sex marriage stuff…isn’t bestiality illegal?

   

I love breasts, but going bigger than an FFF? I fear for my life.  Getting playfully slapped in the side of the face by a lovely supple breast is a wonderful thing, but being knocked unconscious is quite another. 

 

Star Jones recently told usmagazine.com that Barbara Walters was an “adulterer” because she slept with a married man many, many years ago. What I think? At a time when her own marriage is going down the toilet (he is alleged to be more interested in other men), and she can’t eat due to gastric bypass surgery, Star Jones has directed her ravenous choppers toward the one person who was publicizing her sexual trists - Barbara Walters. When she’s getting more action than you, it only highlights that all the “portion control” and “pilates” (things she initially told her audience - lied about - caused her weight loss) in the world can’t always get you laid.

Before and After weight loss: 

 
 
 Don’t let the smiles fool you folks. She is mean, she is not getting laid, and she is hungry. 

Mama always told me never to date a woman who has a matted hair, a bald spot, and foil stuck to her face…
 
Turns out, she was right. Happy belated Mother’s Day.